Posts tagged struggle
I don’t want to sound mean. I just want to be honest. Is there something else bothering you?*
Last night I was faced with that loaded question. “Was something else bothering me?” Because, she explained, how upset I was didn’t add up. “Nothing happened,” she said.
At first the question didn’t even register through my sniffles and tears. Of course something had happened. Something terrible. Or why else would I be so upset? Right? I had been feeling left out of a conversation, and everything just seemed to sudden spiral out of control from there. Suddenly friends were angry with me and I was crying and… of course something had happened.
But because I know my friend doesn’t just say things like this casually, I dug a little deeper.
Was something else bothering me?
A list started to write itself in my head. A list that looked like it could be a mental health professional’s list of major life stresses. Okay. So I had a few things going on in my life right now what with the recent hospitalizations and rehabilitations, family stresses, missing friends, and so on. So I supposed that a few things were in fact bothering me.
I felt dumb.
Suddenly everything came into focus and my reaction seemed so out of proportion.
And that’s when it happened.
See for the last few weeks I’d been describing the stress I was under like a giant and delicate egg just under the surface of my emotional pain, waiting to crack open and drip it’s gooey and painful ooze everywhere.
It happened. Right then in that moment of perfect clarity, I could feel all the pain I’d been hiding from myself so completely and all at once.
I didn’t know I could cry that hard. That intensely. And that it could be that freeing.
I prayed that I would have the strength to get through it. To find meaning in my struggles and tears.
Then, just as suddenly as it came, it was over.
Feeling better, I’m so grateful to my friend for asking that loaded question. It must not have been easy to have to be honest with me when I was a basket case and try to figure out what was really going on.
Have you ever been really upset about something only to realize that it was something else entirely that was really bothering you? Here’s some suggestion you can try to help you figure out those upsets when they occur:
- Think about if your reaction is in proportion to the upsetting incident.
- Think about what other stresses you have in your life.
- Ask yourself it there is something else bothering you.
- Seek trusted friend/mentor or a professional counselor who can talk the problem out with you.
- Pray or meditate to get divine perspective on the situation.
Sometimes you have to crack the situation wide open to see what’s really inside, but I know that on the inside of that egg is greater serenity, happiness, and peace of mind.
Why are so many willing to give so much in order to receive the blessings of the temple? Those who understand the eternal blessings which come from the temple know that no sacrifice is too great, no price too heavy, no struggle too difficult in order to receive those blessings. There are never too many miles to travel, too many obstacles to overcome, or too much discomfort to endure. They understand that the saving ordinances received in the temple that permit us to someday return to our Heavenly Father in an eternal family relationship and to be endowed with blessings and power from on high are worth every sacrifice and every effort. – President Thomas S. Monson President Of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Sometimes the greatest blessings come after the greatest stuggles. Today, my first day back at church after three long weeks in the hospital, I was called to be the Chair of the Temple Committee. My focus will be promoting attendance in the Temple and helping the ward to live a Temple centered life. I am really excited about my new calling (or job) in the church. I am eager to be of service and make a difference in the lives of the people in my ward. I am also blessed to have a Temple assignment as a Temple worker. I’m a secretary there one day a month. Serving this way, though I’m rather new at it, has already reaped great blessings for me.
But what is the Temple and why is it so important? The Temple is a place where Latter Day Saints (Mormons) worship Heavenly Father. We perform special ordinances and make special covenants there that bring us closer to Him and our Savior, Jesus Christ. We often go there to learn and receive personal revelation or answers to questions. It is a place of reverence, beauty, serenity, Spirit, and peace. I have such a strong testimony about the importance of keeping the Temple the center of my life. On the days and even the weeks I go to the Temple, I just feel better. I feel lighter. My burdens feel easier to carry with me. I’m often told when I’m in the Temple itself that I physically look like I’m glowing. It’s not me. It’s all God’s illumination. The Spirit. And it’s no coincidence. The blessings of the Temple are great in number. Too numerous, in fact, to count. Blessings of clarity and personal revelation and power from on high just to name a few.
Being in the Temple reminds me of how blessed I am. So very blessed. Which doesn’t mean life doesn’t have it’s extremely difficult trials. It certainly does. But being in the Temple reminds me to have a divine perspective and to try to see my life from my Heavenly Father’s point of view. When I look at it through His eyes, I feel very humble and grateful for all that I have been given in this life. If you live near a Temple I invite you to go check out its Visitors’ Center where you can learn more about Temples. Find a Temple near you! Read more about Temples and their importance!
Writing a novel from start to finish is an extremely challenging feat, but I discovered that creating the novel itself is a synch compared to crafting an engaging and well-written pitch. How could I distill over 100k words into just under 250 words while still maintaining the essence of the plot, characters, and style of the book?
It is no easy task. I struggled and wrestled my way through over fifteen drafts each seemingly worse than the last. False starts and failed endings. It took me a long time to get to what I finally settled upon, but I’m not convinced it’s ready.
I need your help! Please read my pitch, and lend me your constuctive critique. What’s working? What isn’t working? Does it pull you in? Do you relate to the characters? Does it make you want to read the book? What can I do to make it stronger?
The Particulars Pitch
by Lauren Soffer
Please excuse Professor Veril Maloit as he passes out cold. He’s just standing up to accept the biggest honor of his writing career only to fall flat on his face. To Veril’s astonishment, his girlfriend, Samantha Elderhopper, is selected to become an apprentice to the elite group of writers known as The Particulars, and his lifelong dream of joining the enigmatic organization is in shambles.
While recovering, Veril overhears a conversation between the group’s Grand Master, Cameron Johanson, and another Particular about making unsuspecting people disappear.
Is something sinister afoot? Tracy, the opinionated incorporeal voice that’s following Veril around certainly thinks so. Chances are he’s finally going out of his mind, but as Veril investigates, he stumbles upon a Particular conspiracy, witnessing the society’s crimes for himself. The famous authors are secretly vampires sucking juicy details out of people to infuse their writing with vivid realism, erasing their victims from memory to all but Veril.
Terrified, he dreads forever losing Sam to the humanity devouring Particulars, but what can Veril do? He knows nothing about hunting vampires. Or so he thinks, until the delivery of a cryptic letter illuminates the murky details of his mysterious lineage. Armed with a magic pen and inkwell, his creative writing skills, and a grab bag team of would-be heroes, Veril discovers that he’s the inspired author of his own destiny.
Thanks so much for your time and help! It’s much appreciated. You can leave your feed back right here in the comments, or you can email me at email@example.com.
Cross-posted from The Particulars Blog.
Historically, apologizing has not come easily to me. I used to be very concerned with being right. More than that, I was completely wrapped up and entangled in the dangerous web of perfectionism. I really thought that if I failed to be right all the time and perfect all the time, the fragile walls of my world would come crashing down around me. I was convinced that if I wasn’t perfect, non one would love me. And if I ever admitted my imperfections and acknowledged that I made a mistake, then I wouldn’t even know myself. I couldn’t have been further from the truth.
No one likes a “perfect” person. For one thing, there’s no such thing. So when I was trying to appear perfect, I just came off as unrelatable and inauthentic. I eventually came to realize that people in my life wanted me to let them in and see who I really was, imperfections and all. They had no interest in the illusion of perfection I was attempting to maintain, but me as a real person had a lot to offer.
I also learned that people actually appreciated me more when I admitted my human frailties. When I messed up and hurt someone I cared about, I learned to apologize. I realized that I could be “right” and push people away or I could apologize when I needed to and have closer relationships in my life. It is still something I struggle with, and the past few weeks I was put to the test.
About a week ago, I found out that I had done some things that had hurt some friends of mine. When I dug deep within myself I realized that I had certainly not acted as my best self. There were some things I needed to apologize for. I cried, I prayed, and I gave up being “right” and apologized.
It was like a breath of fresh air. A weight off my chest. There’s a subtle personal power in admitting that you are wrong and taking responsibility for who and how you are being in life. But the greatest reward is the relationships that grow from my willingness to humble myself and apologize. And I am thankful for friends that care about me enough to let me know when I’ve hurt them, so that I can make amends and grow from the experience.
God gave us weaknesses so that we might be humble and so that our weaknesses might be made into strengths. I know this is true, and for that I am grateful.
I share a special relationship with my mom, but it hasn’t always been that way, and it hasn’t always been easy.
Growing up I didn’t feel I was loved unconditionally by either of my parents, but especially not by my mom. It’s strange looking back at how I felt because it is so clear to me now that my mom completely adored me and doted upon me. At the time though, I took her tendency to be critical to be a reflection on me when it was really just my mom’s struggle with anxiety showing itself.
My mom worked full time when I was very young, but she would come home from work and play with me for hours before I went to bed even though she must have been exhausted. She read to me endlessly. I attribute my love of reading and creative writing to all the hours I spent curled up in her lap as she read me picture books and eventually entire novels.
I consider myself so fortunate that she always was supportive of all my creative endeavors. She praised my writing, drove me to all my theater rehearsals, and supported my decision to go to Film School.
My mom created amazing childhood memories for me from the little things like the home cooked meals we always shared to the family vacations we took. We drove up the coast of California over two weeks, went to places like Mexico, New York, Hawaii, and Canada. Every trip was a success because of my mom’s gift for planning.
I admire her other gifts as well. She is an accomplished architect and an amazing crafter. She paints, knits, crochets, and sews. She painted me the most spectacular secretary desk. It is one of my most favorite treasures.
Most of all I admire my mom’s strength and perseverance. When my parent’s separated after over 25 years of marriage, she went back to work for the first time since my early childhood. She also took on caring for me, her chronically ill daughter, both physically and financially.
I cannot count the hours she’s spent being there for me through the hospitalizations and other aspects of my illness. It was rough on our relationship at first. I had been a fiercely independent person and had a difficult time accepting help from her graciously. She wasn’t used to giving up her freedom to be there for me constantly. But in the end it brought us closer together as we grew to really value each others company and spending time together in every context.
I am so blessed and grateful for my mom! I only hope that someday I can be as wonderful a mom to my children as she has been to me.