Posts tagged Saints
Six years ago today I did the single best thing I’ll ever do for myself. Going in I was really nervous, but at the same time very sure of what I needed to do and what Heavenly Father needed me to do.
Only six weeks prior I was bound to a wheelchair due to debilitating joint pain, but that day I walked on my own to feet toy all sogrens kydrome. all white. My friend was in white as well so she could help me downt he steps into deeper water only to wait shivering back at the waters edge while she watched and waited help me out again.
With a smile and a nod bewteen me and the young missionary performing the ordinance, I sat down in a chair. With a tip of the chair I was completely submerged backwards. Under the water for that split second was so serene, and as I came up out of the water I felt a inner calm, and sweet delicate peace that would never leave me.
The day was March 7th 2010. It was the day I was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The following Sunday I was confirmed a member of the church and received the Gift of the Holy Ghost.
The decision to get baptized has infintely blesssed my life. From the sweet calm in my soul that the Spirit brings to the love I feel for and from my Heavenly Father and my savior Jesus Christ to the life long friends I’ve made and to the knowledge have about Heavenly Father’s plan and purpsoe for me, I am so grateful to have these tender mercies in my life. And to commemorate my baptism, I painted this page in my illustrated scripture study journal.
A balloon slowly twirls in the corner of my room in the ICU. “Get Well Soon!” it proclaims, in its bubbly font pastered on a backdrop of a smiling kite floating above smiling flowers.
I am grateful to have it cheering up the overwise sterile and dull place I’ve called my home-away-from-home five times in the last year alone. I am grateful to my thoughtful friend who brought it when she visited several days ago. But the truth is life doesn’t fit neatly into phrases we so often use to comfort our loved ones when a major life trial afflicts them. For me, “Get Well Soon” is a lie. I won’t be well soon. Yes, I’ll recover from this hospitalization, but I live with several serious chronic illnesses that will most likely sent me back to the hospital again. When “getting well soon” isn’t possible, the challenge is to find insight, peace, and even gratitude in my situation.
I firmly believe that we are faced with trials on this earth, so that we can learn lessons we couldn’t learn any other way. Through my illness I’ve learned patience, compassion for other’s trials, and trust that my suffering is all for a purpose and even brings blessings. Nothing would have taught me patience, for example, quite like waiting through seemingly endless and prolonged hospitalizations. I couldn’t have learned to have as much compassion, had I not suffered myself and felt the pain and loneliess of chronic illness.
I have even found blessings in my trials with chronic illness. As I was forced to adapt and find new interests, I discovered my passion for writing novels, my love of web and graphic design, and, most importantly, my faith in Christ when I was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. All these things came to be in my life directly as a result of my chronic illnesses. They have blessed me in more ways than I can number, and especially blessed me with a sense of a life calling, purpose, and knowledge that I am not alone. Realizing these blessings give me insight into the person my trials are helping me to become, a person I couldn’t have learned to be without these trials.
Knowing that trials have brought me great blessings fills my life with peace, purpose, and meaning. And I am grateful for the role of trials in my life to make me a better person. I am grateful for the ability to bless the lives of others that I learned from these trials. I am grateful for my testimony of a loving Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ, that I’ve learned from experiences I’ve had being sick.
As I look to the bigger picture, I see the role these trials play in becoming the best person I ultimately can be. I may not “Get Well Soon”, but as I look beneath the harsh surface of life with multiple serious chronic illnesses, I’ve come to recognize that, on many levels, things are already “well” with my life. And as I strive to find insight, peace, and gratitude in the face of my trials, all will be well.
Sometimes being human can be painfully lonely. It’s amazing to me how alone I can feel sometimes even knowing I have a loving family and a caring circle of friends who mean the world to me. At times I think this very essential sense of loneliness originates from the feeling of being dwarfed by the universe. Thoughts might come like, “If I’m just a speck in this great vastness, what do I mean to the bigger picture? How do I fit in? How do I even matter? What difference can I even really make when there’s so many others out here.”
I came across this quote on my best friend’s mission blog. Sister Eskander is currently on a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This quote was by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, an Apostle in the LDS Church. It read:
This is a paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God. While against the backdrop of infinite creation we may appear to be nothing, we have a spark of eternal fire burning within our breast. We have the incomprehensible promise of exaltation—worlds without end—within our grasp. And it is God’s great desire to help us reach it.
– DIETER F. UCHTDORF, You Matter To Him
This does more than answer my questions. It brings peace and comfort to my soul. Through the knowledge in this Gospel, I know who I really am. – a Spirit child of God. I know the the bigger picture and my role in it. I know how much I matter to my Heavenly Father. And I know the difference I can make.
I loved this quote so much I decided to design an illustration to go with it. I sent one to Sister Eskander, and now I’ll share it with you. To help us all remember who we really our. Our eternal heritage and exalted potential.
Paradox of Man Illustration1
You Matter To Him – Dieter F. Uchtdorf
The Lord uses a scale very different from the world’s to weigh the worth of a soul.
Why are so many willing to give so much in order to receive the blessings of the temple? Those who understand the eternal blessings which come from the temple know that no sacrifice is too great, no price too heavy, no struggle too difficult in order to receive those blessings. There are never too many miles to travel, too many obstacles to overcome, or too much discomfort to endure. They understand that the saving ordinances received in the temple that permit us to someday return to our Heavenly Father in an eternal family relationship and to be endowed with blessings and power from on high are worth every sacrifice and every effort. – President Thomas S. Monson President Of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Sometimes the greatest blessings come after the greatest stuggles. Today, my first day back at church after three long weeks in the hospital, I was called to be the Chair of the Temple Committee. My focus will be promoting attendance in the Temple and helping the ward to live a Temple centered life. I am really excited about my new calling (or job) in the church. I am eager to be of service and make a difference in the lives of the people in my ward. I am also blessed to have a Temple assignment as a Temple worker. I’m a secretary there one day a month. Serving this way, though I’m rather new at it, has already reaped great blessings for me.
But what is the Temple and why is it so important? The Temple is a place where Latter Day Saints (Mormons) worship Heavenly Father. We perform special ordinances and make special covenants there that bring us closer to Him and our Savior, Jesus Christ. We often go there to learn and receive personal revelation or answers to questions. It is a place of reverence, beauty, serenity, Spirit, and peace. I have such a strong testimony about the importance of keeping the Temple the center of my life. On the days and even the weeks I go to the Temple, I just feel better. I feel lighter. My burdens feel easier to carry with me. I’m often told when I’m in the Temple itself that I physically look like I’m glowing. It’s not me. It’s all God’s illumination. The Spirit. And it’s no coincidence. The blessings of the Temple are great in number. Too numerous, in fact, to count. Blessings of clarity and personal revelation and power from on high just to name a few.
Being in the Temple reminds me of how blessed I am. So very blessed. Which doesn’t mean life doesn’t have it’s extremely difficult trials. It certainly does. But being in the Temple reminds me to have a divine perspective and to try to see my life from my Heavenly Father’s point of view. When I look at it through His eyes, I feel very humble and grateful for all that I have been given in this life. If you live near a Temple I invite you to go check out its Visitors’ Center where you can learn more about Temples. Find a Temple near you! Read more about Temples and their importance!
If I’ve learned anything the last 10 or so years of my life if the last decade or so, it’s to enjoy sweet moments for they are often fast and fleeting. I am learning to let go of the painful moments rather than choosing to experience their pain again and again each time the though surfaces Most importantly I discovered how to cheerish the eternal moments and divine nature of this life. It is everythihg. All that I have, With it, I never need to shrink from what lies ahead.
They say that I’f you don’t your health, then you don’t have anything. By this standard must be very poor indeed at writing from a hospital bed in the ICU. Laying here for the last five days in pain and unable to move my limbs let alone breathe without the assistance of machines, I’ve had all my blood removed, cleaned and returned to my body without any plasma five times. i’ve realized there’s a lot of ways I could be consuming my time. Or worse: letting my time consume me.
I could bask in the fleeting joy of being a a birthday party which triggered this frightening experience. Or I could be berating myself for rationalizing staying at the part once I saw that there were latex balloons everywhere since I already knew that I can react just by breathing the air around them. But I seemed find throughout the party until I got home and went to bed.
I woke up at 5am having trouble breathing. Neck and face swollen. Wheezing. It was too severe to go to my normal hospital where all my doctors are which is about an hour away from me. But I figured, it’s just an allergy? IT’s not like I’ll be admitted. Riiiiiight.
So I raced to the nearest hospital and was taking right back and given large doees of IV steroids, benadryl and epinephrine As soon as the epi entered my bloodstream i could breathe again. But my releef was fleeting.
After about 30 minutes my legs starteed to grow heavy. Then my arms. Then my voice got weak. It could only mean one thing. Myasthenic Crisis. But I refused to let terror set in. Not then.
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ ofLatter Day Saints, I am so grateful to have priesthood holders who can perform blessings for comfort and healing for me whenever I need to. Their Priesthood comes directly from Jesus Christ himself. So I called my Home Teacher to give me a blessing. He and another member of my church came and blessed me with all the things I needed to hear to get through the last several days and be comforted. It was very emotional and I’m eternally grateful for the peace I received in a time of so much fear.
Since my last 3 month stay in the hospital last summer in which I was intubated for over a month in the ICU from Myasthenia as well, I’d be dreading this would happen again. I’ve been dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from it. But in one simple moment, all my fear melted away into love for my Heavenly Father and the plan he has for me. In the arms of his love I was swallowed up in divine trust.
That moment has since past and I still need to keep calling it back up for myself. Reminding myself that I have a Heavenly Father who knows me and everything I need. I will be taken care of if I just remain ever faithful and endure to the end.
So though it may seem strange to have such a spiritally connected moment in the noisy Emergency Room. To me it makes perfect sense. It’s how I’ve learned to cherish divine nature (in others, in God, Christ, and especially in myself) Surrounded by the divine nature of all the wonders of life Heavenly Father and my savoir Jesus Christ has provided to me, I have no cause to shirnk. In fact, I must not shrink. As I stand strong, my testimony will grow as I feast on the gospel at all times and cleave closer to my Savior’s atoning and enabling sacrifice during there types of trials.
I dont’ know when this particular trial will end, but I know that with faith I will endure all things.
Have you ever wondered what you should be doing with your life? Have you ever wondered what areas of your life you need to improve, and, furthermore how to improve them? Have you ever wanted to hear this kind of instruction from someone who could never steer you wrong? Have you ever wanted to get advice from someone who had only your best interested at heart, who loved you unconditionally, and would treat you with care of the most loving parent?
Throughout my life I have often longed for this personal direction from a divine source. I have come to know that my Father in Heaven can give me all of these things whenever I speak to him through prayer. But there are other times, places, and methods of receiving this direction in life. This afternoon was the final session of the Spring convening of General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. At it, the living Prophet of our Living Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ, along with his counselors, Apostles, and other disciples, delivered the divine messages we all needed to hear as His children.
General Conference occurs twice a year in the Spring and Fall. The messages spoken at it are broadcast live across the world via television, radio, and the internet for all of God’s children to hear. Afterwards, the talks are made available online, on dvd, and in print. Past year’s General Conferences are also available on lds.org.
In preparing to hear the word of God at General Conference, I wrote a list of questions that I wanted to have answered by the various talks given. I prayed to Heavenly Father that my questions would be addressed I was not disappointed. Through my faith, I received very direct answers to all but one question and an indirect answer to my last question. I would like to share some of my questions and the answers I received to them through the messages I watched broadcast through my computer screen. I recorded all of this in my handmade Conference Journal.
- How do I deal with my desire for a Temple marriage in this life without knowing if I will have one?
- I must emotionally, spiritually, and physically prepare myself for a temple marriage. This includes improving my physical health.
- How can I teach myself to more completely trust Christ and the Atonement when I have so much trouble trusting and relying on anyone other than myself?
- There are no shortcuts. The little things matter a lot as I build my foundation in Christ. I must share and talk to my Father in Heaven. I must start with what I’m sure of in my faith go from there to have an intimate discussion. As I ask for help learning to more fully rely on Christ, Heavenly Father with both bless and help me.
- When my faith waivers, how do I restore my faith? Furthermore, how to I maintain my surety in the first place?
- Fear not! Do not belittle my belief. Ask for help in my unbelief that it might be transformed into strong faith. What we do know will always be greater than what we don’t regarding our faith. Remember to always walk by faith.
- What can I do to contribute to an inviting atmosphere at church where everyone can feel the Spirit of Christ?
- Darkness exists in this world but don’t chose to dwell in the darkness. Choose to dwell in the light, and choose to radiate light!
- What should I learn about myself, others and Christ when I make mistakes and things don’t go according to plan? How can I improve myself in the face of conflict?
- It is imporant to always remember that I am a divine daughter of God and that I am a divine work in progress. Issues with arrise but that doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with a divine work. Also remember “it takes two people to contend and I will no be one of them.” (Brother Palabella)
- How do I give up my life for something better?
- This one is easy: Come follow Him.
- How can I learn to recognize miracles in my life everyday?
- Allow faith to overcome doubt. As I am obedient in all things, magnifying everything that I have been asked to do I will be blessed in ways I cannot imagine and will his is tender mercies and even His miracles in all things.
I invite you to come and see what answers the messages of General Conference have for you. You can watch the entire thing or just specific talks online. As Brother Jeffery R. Holland declared today, “Hope on! Journey on! Fan the flame of your faith because all things are possible to him that believeith!”
Come and see and follow Him!
Times flies in the service of the Lord. That’s where I’ve been or the past three years. Imperfect and stumbling, I’ve been helping to progress the work ever forward, growing Heavenly Father’s Kingdom. That’s where I’ve been ever since my baptism that occurred on March 7th 2010 or three years ago today when I was made a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Still it’s hard to believe that three years have past. Yet, they have, and here I am, the better for it.
Prior to three years ago, I was lost and searching. Now I’m found.
Three years ago, newly baptized, I was leaning on one miraculous experience to get me through each moment in my new found spirituality. Now my testimony has been built, solidified, and strengthened by several years of experience.
Three years ago, I hardly knew a single person in the ward. Now this ward is my family.
Three years ago, I had no responsibility for anyone else in the Church. Now two important positions fall to me each week.
Three years ago I didn’t know how to pray. Now I get down on my knees each morning and night to have a personal conversation with my Father in Heaven.
Three years ago, I didn’t know who I was in the divine sense. Now I know myself to be a daughter of a divine being I call my HeaveLy Father who knows me personally and loves me unconditionally.
I am so so grateful for Christ’s gospel and that I found His true Church. It’s brought me so much joy, peace, comfort, and perspective. It brought be closer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I’m eternally grateful for my decision I made three years ago today! ♥
Sometimes it’s hard to remember how loved each of us are by our Father in Heaven. But we are each loved so profoundly that it is truly impossible for us to comprehend. The more we open our hearts to feeling this love, the closer to Him we become.
This morning I woke up with a nasty eye and very contagious eye infection. I opted to stay home from church rather than risk infecting everyone in my Ward.
So I spent the day reading through scripture while listening to awesome and free Especially For Youth music downloaded from lds.org. While reading through the Book of Mormon this afternoon, I came across this scripture:
But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.
We are each literally “encircled about eternally in the arms of His love.” I felt the Spirit of Christ burning inside me when I read this scripture. I knew how loved I am. I wanted to create some art with those words, so I created the following image in Illustrator to remind me of how I felt when I read it. Enjoy!
(Feel free to use the image as long as you attribute it to me with a link back to this post. Thanks!)
Christ charged us to love one another as He loves us. He wouldn’t want anyone to be forgotten about or anyone to fall through the cracks. I can’t think of a more organized way to make sure that all of God’s daughters are being taken care of than through Visiting Teaching. Visiting Teaching is a crucial part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is a program that assigns Teachers in teams of two to minister to other women in the church.
How do we minister?
- Pray daily for [the sister you visit] and her family.
- Seek inspiration to know her and her family.
- Visit her regularly to learn how she is doing and to comfort and strengthen her.
- Stay in frequent contact through visits, phone calls, letters, e-mail, text messages, and simple acts of kindness.
- Greet her at Church meetings.
- Help her when she has an emergency, illness, or other urgent need.
- Teach her the gospel from the scriptures and the visiting teaching messages.
- Inspire her by setting a good example.
(See “How Visiting Teachers Love, Watch Over, and Strengthen a Sister,” in Daughters in My Kingdom,page 123.)
“The purpose of ministering is to help others become true followers of Jesus Christ. Ministering to others includes:
- Remembering their names and becoming acquainted with them (see Moroni 6:4).
- Loving them without judging them (see John 13:34–35).
- Watching over them and strengthening their faith ‘one by one,’ as the Savior did (3 Nephi 11:15; 17:21).
- Establishing sincere friendship with them and visiting them in their homes and elsewhere (see D&C 20:47)” (Handbook 2,3.2.3).
When I was asked to serve in my Young Single Adult Ward of the Church as the Visiting Teaching Coordinator, I tried to think of ways I could inspire and remind the girls in the Ward to do their Visiting Teaching each month. So, I decided to get crafty. I (with the help of my friend Raquel) created a Visiting Teaching Flower Garden Box to provide a visual aide for the program.
The theme was planting seeds of faith with Visiting Teaching. Through Visiting Teaching we can help build and strengthen each other’s faith and testimonies. The idea was that each girl, each being a unique individual with special needs and talents, would each have her own flower with her name in it. When each teacher Visit Taught her girl, she would turn her name around so that the flower was facing forward instead of the girl’s name, showing that she had planted a seed of faith in that girl.
- We used scrabooking flower pieces (from a craft store) in two layers with a small jewel to make the center of each flower.
- We then glued the flower to one side of a popsicle stick and the girl’s name to a small plaque on the other side.
- We then covered a large, fairly flat cardboard box with pretty scrapbooking paper. I attached a sign I designed on the computer that read, “When you plant seeds of faith, flowers will grow – Visiting Teaching.” We covered the corners of the box with ribbon to protect them and make them look more finished.
- We filled the box with bricks of green dry foam used to do flower arrangements (you can purchase this at any craft store as well).
- Taking a popsicle stick, we pushed rows of holes into the foam to hold each flower. We made the rows at the front of the box deeper than the ones towards the back. We also staggered the holes. This made it easier to see allthe names and flowers once they were all in their slots.
The finished product was even more colorful and beautiful than I expected. Putting it out at each meeting, seems to remind everyone to do their Visiting Teaching which is the most important part.
Last night I went to my ten year high school reunion, and it has put me in a reflective mood. It was fun (though somewhat strange) to see everyone after ten years apart. I was impressed by how friendly everyone was and how genuinely happy everyone seemed to reconnect with everyone. It has me thinking though about my seventeen year old self and who I thought I’d become verus who I’ve actually become.
When I was seventeen I had a lot of expectations for myself and everyone. The other day on Twitter I mentioned that I was “Trying not to compare myself to the me my 17 year old self thought I’d be by now.” My friend (@nerdgoddess) replied, “Don’t worry. I don’t think any of us live up to our teenage expectations.” I think this must be true. But I sure had a lot of them at that age. At seventeen, I thought that by ten years later I’d have made my first film, have a husband or at least a serious boyfriend, and be living on my own. None of these predictions were accurate.
At first I was feeling kind of bummed about what my seventeen year old self would have thought of me now, but on further reflection I’m really rather happy with where my life is at as unpredictable as the last ten years have been. It hasn’t all been great; don’t get me wrong. No one predicts or wants to think they are going to end up with a chronic illness. But there have also been so many wonderful things that have come of the last ten years of my life.
When I was seventeen, I was headed to the University of Southern California to study film. I wanted to be a director. Or at least I thought I did. And although I’m sure I could have found happiness pursuing that line of work, my real love is for the written word – specifically the novel. At seventeen, I never would have considered that I’d have it in me to write a whole rough draft of a novel by the age of twenty-seven or that I would be doing freelance graphic and web design. Or that I’d be designing Alternate Reality Games.
When I was seventeen, I was in the middle of a serious depression. My perfectionism consumed my life and made me miserable. Thanks to meds and therapy and a lot of hard work, I have found so much happiness in the last several years. And that is something I certainly didn’t expect at the time. In fact, at the time I didn’t even know what it was to be happy.
When I was seventeen, I was essentially an agnostic Jew searching for some meaning and connection to something larger. I NEVER would have dreamed in a million years that I would have found it in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But a little over a year ago I did. And becoming Mormon has brought me a level of joy, comfort, and perspective on life I never anticipated was possible.
The last ten years have been a roller-coaster ride that my seventeen year old self never would have imagined. Sometimes the sudden drops and loops make me want to throw up, but all in all I wouldn’t get off the ride for anything.