Posts tagged perspective
I don’t want to sound mean. I just want to be honest. Is there something else bothering you?*
Last night I was faced with that loaded question. “Was something else bothering me?” Because, she explained, how upset I was didn’t add up. “Nothing happened,” she said.
At first the question didn’t even register through my sniffles and tears. Of course something had happened. Something terrible. Or why else would I be so upset? Right? I had been feeling left out of a conversation, and everything just seemed to sudden spiral out of control from there. Suddenly friends were angry with me and I was crying and… of course something had happened.
But because I know my friend doesn’t just say things like this casually, I dug a little deeper.
Was something else bothering me?
A list started to write itself in my head. A list that looked like it could be a mental health professional’s list of major life stresses. Okay. So I had a few things going on in my life right now what with the recent hospitalizations and rehabilitations, family stresses, missing friends, and so on. So I supposed that a few things were in fact bothering me.
I felt dumb.
Suddenly everything came into focus and my reaction seemed so out of proportion.
And that’s when it happened.
See for the last few weeks I’d been describing the stress I was under like a giant and delicate egg just under the surface of my emotional pain, waiting to crack open and drip it’s gooey and painful ooze everywhere.
It happened. Right then in that moment of perfect clarity, I could feel all the pain I’d been hiding from myself so completely and all at once.
I didn’t know I could cry that hard. That intensely. And that it could be that freeing.
I prayed that I would have the strength to get through it. To find meaning in my struggles and tears.
Then, just as suddenly as it came, it was over.
Feeling better, I’m so grateful to my friend for asking that loaded question. It must not have been easy to have to be honest with me when I was a basket case and try to figure out what was really going on.
Have you ever been really upset about something only to realize that it was something else entirely that was really bothering you? Here’s some suggestion you can try to help you figure out those upsets when they occur:
- Think about if your reaction is in proportion to the upsetting incident.
- Think about what other stresses you have in your life.
- Ask yourself it there is something else bothering you.
- Seek trusted friend/mentor or a professional counselor who can talk the problem out with you.
- Pray or meditate to get divine perspective on the situation.
Sometimes you have to crack the situation wide open to see what’s really inside, but I know that on the inside of that egg is greater serenity, happiness, and peace of mind.
Life is hardly ever what we expect it to be. The harder we try to plan out our lives, the more God shows us that He has bigger things in store for us. Like when you try to hold sand in the palm of your hand. Relax your grip completely on your life and the pieces of your life all fall through the cracks. Plan your life too tightly and it all starts to slip through your fingers despite your best efforts. But God’s hands are infinite. He can hold all the sand of our lives and more. He won’t let any sand slip away if we allow Him to help us hold it. We simply have to turn to Him and ask for His help, love and guidance in ALL things.
Sand in it’s size is much like the minutia of our lives. Tiny in the grand scheme of things. When struggling to hang on to the little granules, we often forget to pull back and see the larger picture. We are worried about loosing a few grains of sand when we are standing on the beaches of infinite blessings if we would only look around and realize it. Not that each grain isn’t important, but we shouldn’t let it distract us from remembering who we are and where we are going as divine children of Heavenly Father on our journey back to Him.
But in the topsy turviness of life, all this is all to easy to forget. And suddenly you aren’t just loosing sand, you’re up to you’re being consumed, even suffocated by it.
A few months and a lifetime ago… or back in November, I celebrated my 30th Birthday with a Mocktail Soiree. I was surrounded by numerous friends and family and had a wonderful time. I was in good health, and I was able to walk around the party. That night was a high point for me, and I had no idea I was headed for a very low point just a week or so later. I had plans for how I would spend the next several months. Plans I intended to keep.
Then a series of events led to a serious health decline that landed me in the hospital with my life at stake. A series of serious infections caused the autoimmune disease I have, Myasthenia Gravis, to flare making me unable to breathe on my own so that I required a ventilator just a week after my party.
Life is strange. Unpredictable and sometimes difficult to comprehend.
As I fought for my life in the hospital, some might wonder if I was left asking why God would allow me to withstand this hardship. Why would God allow me to suffer so much? And if that’s the case, what does it say about God?
To which I would answer, I asked nothing of the sort. Though it might be tempting to blame God when things go “wrong” in our lives, that is an entirely counterproductive approach. Heavenly Father provides us trials in our lives as a backdrop against which to bloom and grow. Without it we would never progress and become more like our divine parents. My health trials have given me a chance to learn things about myself that I may not have otherwise (or may have taken much longer to learn otherwise). I have become more sensitive to the needs of others and to my own needs. I have become more introspective and intuitive. I have gained faith and perspective that even the seemingly worst things come with spiritual gifts.
He also gives us trials as a chance to practice choosing and agency – or being utilizers of His gift of freewill. When we exercise our divine right of freewill and choose good, we can grow closer to Heaven Father.
It is hard to see this larger picture when in the moment. Just like it is hard to see the beach for what it is when grappling with the granules of sand. But when we put the sand of our lives in God’s capable and infinitely wise hands the landscapes of eternity will become more apparent to us. And for that we will be blessed even more than we can fathom now.
“And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.”
Why are so many willing to give so much in order to receive the blessings of the temple? Those who understand the eternal blessings which come from the temple know that no sacrifice is too great, no price too heavy, no struggle too difficult in order to receive those blessings. There are never too many miles to travel, too many obstacles to overcome, or too much discomfort to endure. They understand that the saving ordinances received in the temple that permit us to someday return to our Heavenly Father in an eternal family relationship and to be endowed with blessings and power from on high are worth every sacrifice and every effort. – President Thomas S. Monson President Of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Sometimes the greatest blessings come after the greatest stuggles. Today, my first day back at church after three long weeks in the hospital, I was called to be the Chair of the Temple Committee. My focus will be promoting attendance in the Temple and helping the ward to live a Temple centered life. I am really excited about my new calling (or job) in the church. I am eager to be of service and make a difference in the lives of the people in my ward. I am also blessed to have a Temple assignment as a Temple worker. I’m a secretary there one day a month. Serving this way, though I’m rather new at it, has already reaped great blessings for me.
But what is the Temple and why is it so important? The Temple is a place where Latter Day Saints (Mormons) worship Heavenly Father. We perform special ordinances and make special covenants there that bring us closer to Him and our Savior, Jesus Christ. We often go there to learn and receive personal revelation or answers to questions. It is a place of reverence, beauty, serenity, Spirit, and peace. I have such a strong testimony about the importance of keeping the Temple the center of my life. On the days and even the weeks I go to the Temple, I just feel better. I feel lighter. My burdens feel easier to carry with me. I’m often told when I’m in the Temple itself that I physically look like I’m glowing. It’s not me. It’s all God’s illumination. The Spirit. And it’s no coincidence. The blessings of the Temple are great in number. Too numerous, in fact, to count. Blessings of clarity and personal revelation and power from on high just to name a few.
Being in the Temple reminds me of how blessed I am. So very blessed. Which doesn’t mean life doesn’t have it’s extremely difficult trials. It certainly does. But being in the Temple reminds me to have a divine perspective and to try to see my life from my Heavenly Father’s point of view. When I look at it through His eyes, I feel very humble and grateful for all that I have been given in this life. If you live near a Temple I invite you to go check out its Visitors’ Center where you can learn more about Temples. Find a Temple near you! Read more about Temples and their importance!
Times flies in the service of the Lord. That’s where I’ve been or the past three years. Imperfect and stumbling, I’ve been helping to progress the work ever forward, growing Heavenly Father’s Kingdom. That’s where I’ve been ever since my baptism that occurred on March 7th 2010 or three years ago today when I was made a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Still it’s hard to believe that three years have past. Yet, they have, and here I am, the better for it.
Prior to three years ago, I was lost and searching. Now I’m found.
Three years ago, newly baptized, I was leaning on one miraculous experience to get me through each moment in my new found spirituality. Now my testimony has been built, solidified, and strengthened by several years of experience.
Three years ago, I hardly knew a single person in the ward. Now this ward is my family.
Three years ago, I had no responsibility for anyone else in the Church. Now two important positions fall to me each week.
Three years ago I didn’t know how to pray. Now I get down on my knees each morning and night to have a personal conversation with my Father in Heaven.
Three years ago, I didn’t know who I was in the divine sense. Now I know myself to be a daughter of a divine being I call my HeaveLy Father who knows me personally and loves me unconditionally.
I am so so grateful for Christ’s gospel and that I found His true Church. It’s brought me so much joy, peace, comfort, and perspective. It brought be closer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I’m eternally grateful for my decision I made three years ago today! ♥