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Self-publishing is a big industry right now. Which means big money. Not necessarily for authors but for companies who sell self-publishing services to authors wanting to self-publish. One contender, Balboa Press has been calling my cell phone every month or so. Writers Beware!
A class action complaint has been filed against Balboa Press’s parent company, Author Solutions, for its sketchy dealings that are bringing in the big bucks. The class action complaint breaks it down:
4. Author Solutions’ revenues are estimated at $100 million per year. Of the $100 million Author Solutions earns as revenue, approximately one third of that amount, or $33 million annually, comes from book sales. The rest of its revenue is derived from the services it offers, such as editorial services, formatting and design services, production services, and marketing services (“Services”).
5. Despite its impressive profits from book sales, Author Solutions fails at the most basic task of a publisher: paying its authors their earned royalties and providing its authors with accurate sales statements.
6. Author Solutions also fails to take diligent care of its authors’ works, making numerous and egregious publisher errors — errors made by the publisher, not the author. These errors include errors on book covers, in addition to various typographical and formatting errors. In fact, Author Solutions profits from its own mistakes. Aggressive sales techniques ensure that these errors are corrected only for a fee of several hundred dollars. Even though, as a matter of policy, Author Solutions promises to correct publisher errors for free, it rarely does.
7. Most of Author Solutions’ earnings are derived from its publishing and marketing Services. These Services, which can cost authors tens of thousands of dollars, likewise fail to deliver what they promise: more book sales and more opportunities for authors.
8. Therefore, even while Defendant Author Solutions prominently markets itself on its website as “[t]he leading indie publishing company in the world,” authors often discover, once it is too late, that Author Solutions is not an “indie publisher” at all. It is a printing service that fails to maintain even the most rudimentary standards of book publishing, profiting not for its authors but from them.
The apple doesn’t land far from the tree. I’ve had a pretty shady experience with Balboa Press so far. I’ve checked them out and everything I’ve read indicates they are ripping off their own customers. If you want a prime and horrific example look no further than this author’s experience:
The illustrative sketches and colorization were a disaster. It was apparent that there was a problem with adherence to the RAD/character description form. Pictures that were provided, or the coinciding text (page number and line number) from the manuscript provided to aid the illustrator were obviously ignored or subjectively reviewed. It was so evident, to the point where I was wondering if anyone bothered to read, or if they even couldread the RAD form. There was clearly no oversight of the illustrator’s work before remittance to me. I had continued to write, please call if you have any questions…
After months of inexcusable errors, it was apparent the Art Director, or whomever, did not adhere to “set up an artist that best suits your project.” The project was/is light, airy, and whimsical. I received “dark.” In most cases, the illustrations were sparse (not intricate detail) with no color consistency, no innovation, wrong genders, wrong race, missing or incorrect features, etc. An ancient woman was drawn as a bald-headed, old man numerous times, despite repeated pleas and request for adherence to the RAD and characterization forms. The little girl’s bed looked like a cot out of an army barracks or prison. Angel wings on a helicopter were inverted, objected to, and objections to the CIAC remained ignored – a lame excuse was offered.
My own experience with them so far has been subpar at best. They called me up and tried to rope me in by getting me excited about my novel’s potential. They told me how great my ideas were and how much I deserved to get my book out there. They wanted to help me achieve my publishing goals. All they needed was to relieve me of $999 to $7,999 of my money, and we could get started. Even if I had that kind of money lying around I wasn’t totally sold that first call. No deal.
A few months later someone else called again. But this person had no clue about me or my novel. What was my book about? No idea? Back to square one. Apparently no one at Balboa ever cares enough about what potential clients say to make any file notes. No points gained there. * Click.*
And on it went. For a few years now. (Yes really.)
Which brings me to another call today. Same thing. Starting from scratch with another clueless representative from Balboa. I wasn’t buying. *Click.*
Then I get the following email. Then it hits me. Not only did they pack this letter so full of stupid writing cliches that it reads hilariously, but they are preying on the dreams of writers’ with this letter and others like it.
Subject: Believe in Yourself
Be proud of who you are as a writer. An author’s voice is unique and no one will tell your story like you do. Don’t lose your voice. Stand out by having your own style. And your book doesn’t have to have an outrageous plot to be important. Simple can be good. Stick to who you are as a writer and your message will always hold significance.
Financial stability is a challenge nowadays. Money is something achievable but it will depend on you. It will depend on how committed you are in publishing and sharing your message to the world. Money comes and goes in life. If it is meant to be, it will happen. We can’t just wait for it to happen though. We need to do something about it. Dreaming for success is for everyone but putting it to reality is for those who are brave enough to take the next step even if there is fear of the unknown. Let us take this one step at a time.
Why make excuses when you can start your dreams? Why do nothing when you can begin something? Look, you have a lot more power within you that you’re revealing to the world. We all do. But because of distractions and interruptions and responsibility and excuses we sell to ourselves, we coast along at the same level for the best of our lives.
Only few have the guts to make A LEAP – a leap to new habits, new routines and a whole new story about their new place in the world and their service to it.
The Gandhi’s and the Mandela’s and the Zuckerberg’s and the Mozart’s were just ordinary people who had an idea, protected it from the voice of dissent, advanced it via tiny wins and got up every time they got knocked down.
You have this power too, but power unused deteriorates and potential not expressed turns to PAIN.
Now is your time to fly and to shine and to rise up. This is the day to show the world who you truly are.
I would like to assist you with your dreams. Yes, publishing will ask you to shell out money from your own pocket, but what I can assure you is that Balboa Press can expose you and your book to the rest of the world. This way you truly get to say to yourself, “I’ve done my part, let the book speak for itself now!” It is not easy to invest in something that you’re not sure of its future, but nothing is ever certain. What you can do as a writer is to invest in your dreams and believe that you can be someone that you never expected to be. Your sacrifices can result to a life changing journey if you give your book a chance.
All the best,
A DIVISION OF HAY HOUSE
[Contact Information Redacted]
This email is an advertisement.
So I’ll be staying away from Vanity Presses. There are ways to legitimately Self-Publish but using Balboa Press isn’t one of them. If they contact you, remember it is called a vanity press for a reason. They play to your vanity and emotions. I know they tried to get me that way. It’s enticing to think that the only thing standing between you and your dream is your savings. But it’s a gamble. And Balboa Press is the house that always wins. The only way to beat them at their own game is to not play.
Last Sunday I was asked to speak in church about making and fulfilling on goals. I also introduced an exciting new project that my ward (or congregation) will be participating in. I attend a ward for young single adults members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
The President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Thomas S. Monson, told this thought provoking story in an October 1976 General Conference talk:
Several days ago, while driving to my home, I approached the entrance to Interstate 15. At the on-ramp I noticed three hitchhikers, each one of whom carried a homemade sign which announced his desired destination. One sign read “Los Angeles,” while a second carried the designation “Boise.” However, it was the third sign which not only caught my attention but caused me to reflect and ponder its message. The hitchhiker had lettered not Los Angeles, California, nor Boise, Idaho, on the cardboard sign which he held aloft. Rather, his sign consisted of but one word and read simply “ANYWHERE.” Here was one who was content to travel in any direction, according to the whim of the driver who stopped to give him a free ride. What an enormous price to pay for such a ride. No plan. No objective. No goal. The road to anywhere is the road to nowhere, and the road to nowhere leads to dreams sacrificed, opportunities squandered, and a life unfulfilled.
Thomas S. Monson, Which Road Will You Travel?
Imagine each of you are holding a sign up right now that says where you are going in life. What does your sign say? What would you like it to say? And what would you like it to say if Christ were sitting next to you right now?
Your sign is another way of representing your life goals. There are a lot of types of goals in life that lead down many different roads in this world. We all want to go somewhere in life that will bring us happiness. Though many things of the world try to convince us they offer happiness, how can we choose worthy goals that will bring us lasting happiness? Even eternal happiness.
Eternal happiness is a life long goal. Like many goals in life, we cannot get there in one stride. There are steps we can take to help us set worthy goals for our lives as we ultimately seek eternal life. Here are six steps we can take to make and fulfill on worthy goals:
Step One is to decide.
When set a goal you first need to decide where you want to be in the future. As President Monson’s earlier story illustrated, you can’t get where you want to go, if you don’t know where you are going.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:
“[…] set explicit goals. You should look ahead now and decide what you want to do with your lives. Fix clearly in your mind what you want to be one year from now, five years, ten years, and beyond.” (“Running Your Marathon,” October 1989 General Conference)
Once you know where you want to get to in the future, you need to decide on a goal. Goals can be big and small, long and short term, and fall under any category of your life.
President Ezra Taft Benson, thirteenth President of the Church said:
“Every accountable child of God needs to set goals, short- and long-range goals. […] Some will be continuing goals.[…]” (“Do Not Despair,” Ensign, Oct. 1986).
President Benson also mentions that there are four main areas of goals in our lives: mental, physical, and social, spiritual, as well as the lifetime goal of becoming perfect unto Christ.
A. Mental Goals may include completing higher education, learning new trades or occupations, improving skills in a craft or creative area.
D&C 88:118 reads:
And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.
D&C 130:19 promises:
And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.
B. Physical Goals may include increasing your body’s strength, endurance, dexterity, excelling at sport, or improving overall health. These would also include goals to improve your obedience to gospel principals like dressing modestly and obeying the Word of Wisdom.
“Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated” (D&C 88:124).
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reads:
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
C. Social Goals may include improving skills in listening, parenting, public speaking, and leadership.
Proverbs 18:24 tells us:
24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
D. Spiritual Goals may include building your testimony, increasing your faith in a gospel principal, magnifying your calling, doing a service project, and increasing temple attendance.
D&C 42:61 states:
61 If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.
E. Lifetime Goals are goals of an eternal nature that help you to become perfect unto Christ.
President Ezra Taft Benson said:
Each week when we partake of the sacrament we commit ourselves to the goals of taking upon ourselves the name of Christ, of always remembering him and keeping his commandments. Of Jesus’ preparations for his mission, the scripture states that he ‘increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.’ (Luke 2:52.) This encompasses four main areas for goals: spiritual, mental, physical, and social. ‘Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be?’ asked the Master, and he answered, ‘Verily I say unto you, even as I am.’ (3 Ne. 27:27.) Now, there is a lifetime goal–to walk in his steps, to perfect ourselves in every virtue as he has done, to seek his face, and to work to make our calling and election sure (“Do Not Despair,” Ensign, Oct. 1986).
Step Two is to Ponder and Pray.
Once we’ve decided on what we want for ourselves and your futures, we can prayerfully ponder steps we should take and make a plan of action. We can seek revelation in our Patriarchal blessings as to what goals to make and how to execute those goals in our lives.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said:
Receive your patriarchal blessing and strive to live worthy of its promises. A patriarchal blessing is one of the most important guides in life that members of the Church enjoy. Write your goals and review them regularly. Keep them before you constantly, record your progress, and revise them as circumstances dictate. (“Running Your Marathon,” October 1989 General Conference)
Step Three is to Place Milestones.
Milestones are defined as “an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development.” Milestones help us to see we are growing and changing. They help us to strive towards something and achieve more than we otherwise would have. Goals are not meant to be achieved in one large chunk, but just as learning is done “line upon line, precept upon precept“ (D&C 98:12) so should goals be broken down into smaller goals. Place milestones on the path to your goal ahead of time and work towards them.
Step Four is to Set Reminders.
When you have a constant physical reminder of your goal it becomes more real. One of my goals is to always become more Christ-like, so I have a painting and a stature of Christ in my bedroom that I can see from where I sit while I work. Whenever I need a extra sense of peace or need to be reminded of my goal I glance up at Christ and my purpose is restored. Wearing a CTR ring or setting a daily reminder in your phone to exercise or read your scriptures are other examples.
Step Five is to Take Action.
It’s great to decide where you wan to go, ponder and pray, place milestones, and set reminders, but all of that will be ineffective if we don’t take action.
D&C 60:13 reads:
“Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known” (D&C 60:13).
Step Six is to Be Accountable.
When you have a system of accountability your results in your goals will increase.
Elder M. Russel Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:
Write down the tasks you would like to accomplish each day. Keep foremost in mind the sacred covenants you have made with the Lord as you write down your daily schedules. (“Keeping Life’s Demands in Balance,” April 1987 General Conference)
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin suggests:
Write your goals and review them regularly. Keep them before you constantly, record your progress, and revise them as circumstances dictate. (“Running Your Marathon,” October 1989 General Conference)
There is no where on Earth more important to achieving Eternal Life than The House of the Lord, the Temple.
We should all make the Temple our biggest goal whether it’s to get there for the first time, to get there more often, or to increase or testimony of the Temple.
The first time I wanted to enter the Temple I was four years old. I remember the moment so vividly. I was riding in the car with my parents and we drove by the Los Angeles Temple. I was immediately drawn to it. It felt very special and I knew I had to go in. I had never been so curious about what occurred inside a building before, but I ached to be a part of it. I asked my mom what it was, and she answered, that it was “someone else’s Temple and I couldn’t ever go in.” As a young Jewish girl, I was curious who else built Temples, and was disappointed that I couldn’t be involved, but I accepted her answer. However I hung onto that early memory though it was buried.
I wasn’t until years later that I was investigating the church more than twenty years later that the memory surfaced. The desire to go into the Temple was stronger than ever. So I decided consciously this time that my goal was the Temple. And I placed milestones to get there. I set Baptismal date. Took the missionary discussions. Got Baptized four and half years ago. Once that was completed, I went to the Temple to do baptisms for the first time. It was amazing and powerful. It Spirit was so strong. But my Temple journey didn’t end there. I wanted to get endowed. So set new milestones. I accepted callings. Took the Temple Prep class. And then I received my endowment. It was the best decision I could have made. My decision to set the Temple as my goal has blessed my life more than I can even comprehend. More than I had ever imagined as a little four year old that had a secret goal of going to the Temple.
Elaine S. Dalton said the following in April 2012 General Conference:
[…] I [was] thrilled as I listened to Elder David A. Bednar invite each of you to become anxiously engaged in doing your own family history and temple work for those who have passed on without the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. As he issued this invitation to you, my heart leapt inside. In the Doctrine and Covenants we read of “other choice spirits who were reserved to come forth in the fulness of times to take part in laying the foundations of the great latter-day work, including the building of … temples and the performance of ordinances therein for the redemption of the dead.” This is your day, and your work has begun! Now is the time to be worthy of and obtain a temple recommend. As you do this work, you will become saviors on Mount Zion. (“Now Is The Time To Arise And Shine!,” April 2012 General Conference)
What an amazing promise: to be a savior on Mount Zion. And we can all achieve that. Especially in light of a new program relating to ward Temple and Family History work that’s being presented today. You may have seen the posters in either foyer and you should have a copy of your own to take home in each of your programs (pictured left). As a ward we will be collectively be researching our own family histories to find Family File names. Familly file names are from your own family lineage. You research them and then take them to the temple to do ordinances for those ancestors.
As a ward, our goal will be to do a thousand family file names. Each family file name will count once (regardless of how many ordinances you do for each name). Since goals don’t happen in one stride, we will have milestones along the way of 100 family file names completed, then 200 names, then 300, and so on up to 1000.
Elaine S. Dalton said the following in April 2012 General Conference:
The promised blessings of the temple extend not only to you but to all generations. As you make the temple your goal, your influence for good will transcend time and place, and the work you perform for those who have gone before will be the fulfillment of prophecy! (“Now Is The Time To Arise And Shine!,” April 2012 General Conference)
I know that as we do this work for our ancestors we will bless them and we also will be blessed.
Elder Marvin J. Ashton said:
“May we launch straightway toward setting goals that are gospel oriented, knowing that if we use the talents that are ours–that if we help others, strive for peace, avoid being overly sensitive or overly critical–strength upon strength will be added unto our own abilities and we will move straightway toward greater growth, happiness, and eternal joys”. (“Straightway,” April 1983 General Conference)
I like to leave you with my testimony that I know that setting and fulfilling on goals is a way we can achieve eternal happiness. I know that as we set our goals on the Temple and other eternal things we will be blessed with peace, happiness, knowledge and revelation, and other things we need in our lives. I know that through Temples families can be together forever. I love the Temple. I love Heavenly Father and I love the Savior, Jesus Christ. And I say this in His name, Amen.
Life is hardly ever what we expect it to be. The harder we try to plan out our lives, the more God shows us that He has bigger things in store for us. Like when you try to hold sand in the palm of your hand. Relax your grip completely on your life and the pieces of your life all fall through the cracks. Plan your life too tightly and it all starts to slip through your fingers despite your best efforts. But God’s hands are infinite. He can hold all the sand of our lives and more. He won’t let any sand slip away if we allow Him to help us hold it. We simply have to turn to Him and ask for His help, love and guidance in ALL things.
Sand in it’s size is much like the minutia of our lives. Tiny in the grand scheme of things. When struggling to hang on to the little granules, we often forget to pull back and see the larger picture. We are worried about loosing a few grains of sand when we are standing on the beaches of infinite blessings if we would only look around and realize it. Not that each grain isn’t important, but we shouldn’t let it distract us from remembering who we are and where we are going as divine children of Heavenly Father on our journey back to Him.
But in the topsy turviness of life, all this is all to easy to forget. And suddenly you aren’t just loosing sand, you’re up to you’re being consumed, even suffocated by it.
A few months and a lifetime ago… or back in November, I celebrated my 30th Birthday with a Mocktail Soiree. I was surrounded by numerous friends and family and had a wonderful time. I was in good health, and I was able to walk around the party. That night was a high point for me, and I had no idea I was headed for a very low point just a week or so later. I had plans for how I would spend the next several months. Plans I intended to keep.
Then a series of events led to a serious health decline that landed me in the hospital with my life at stake. A series of serious infections caused the autoimmune disease I have, Myasthenia Gravis, to flare making me unable to breathe on my own so that I required a ventilator just a week after my party.
Life is strange. Unpredictable and sometimes difficult to comprehend.
As I fought for my life in the hospital, some might wonder if I was left asking why God would allow me to withstand this hardship. Why would God allow me to suffer so much? And if that’s the case, what does it say about God?
To which I would answer, I asked nothing of the sort. Though it might be tempting to blame God when things go “wrong” in our lives, that is an entirely counterproductive approach. Heavenly Father provides us trials in our lives as a backdrop against which to bloom and grow. Without it we would never progress and become more like our divine parents. My health trials have given me a chance to learn things about myself that I may not have otherwise (or may have taken much longer to learn otherwise). I have become more sensitive to the needs of others and to my own needs. I have become more introspective and intuitive. I have gained faith and perspective that even the seemingly worst things come with spiritual gifts.
He also gives us trials as a chance to practice choosing and agency – or being utilizers of His gift of freewill. When we exercise our divine right of freewill and choose good, we can grow closer to Heaven Father.
It is hard to see this larger picture when in the moment. Just like it is hard to see the beach for what it is when grappling with the granules of sand. But when we put the sand of our lives in God’s capable and infinitely wise hands the landscapes of eternity will become more apparent to us. And for that we will be blessed even more than we can fathom now.
“And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.”
Wouldn’t it be amazing if, during our darkest hour, we could reach under our bed and open up a box of hope? A “box of hope” could be a figurative thing that we reach inside ourselves or out to God to find. But sometimes you need something more. Sometimes you need a literal box of hope. And that is just what I created for myself during my darkest hour.
When I was 16 years old, during my senior year of high school, I was immersed in a deep and serious clinic depression. My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder had just been diagnosed but was not yet under control. I had constant intrusive thoughts of hurting myself – of ending my life.
Looking back I really had amazing self control on the whole. But I could only handle so much. The second time I caved in to the constant bombardment of intrusive images of self-harm, and I ended up cutting myself using razor blades my parents had forgotten to hide out in the garage.
Afterward I was on the phone with my therapist at the time. She was telling me I was at a crossroads… that if I chose to continue down this path of cutting I would probably end up in a hospital. I wasn’t really listening to what she was saying. Instead, I was transfixed by what was sitting on the desk in front of me – the candle-lighting piece my mom had made for my younger sister’s Bat Mitzvah. She had glued this tiny shells all over the outside of it go with my sister’s tropical theme. And it struck me then with incredible intensity how very beautiful those tiny shells were – how simply amazing it was that something SO tiny could be SO beautiful. And if something that tiny in life could be that beautiful… well all of life was beautiful and precious as well.
I rushed to get off the phone with my therapist. I knew that I had to find a way to hang onto this feeling. I had stumbled upon my internal box of hope! But I knew that it wouldn’t be easy to tap into again. I had to find a way to make it physical while it was fresh in my mind. I had to find a way to remind myself of this epiphany every day because I knew there would be many dark days ahead where I would desperately need to draw on my box of hope.
So I had my mom (who is good at crafty things) help me cover an old shoe box with some bright pretty wrapping paper. I wanted my box of hope to be private and inconspicuous on the outside. I didn’t tell her what it was for, but perhaps sensing my urgency she kindly helped me anyway. Then I took the box upstairs to my room and set to work.
Going through pictures and old magazines I decorated the inside of the box with things I wanted to do with my life, places I wanted to travel, people who cared about me, things that filled me with hope. I hadn’t yet found out if I had gotten into USC Film School (a few months later I did), so I put a picture of a director’s chair with “USC Alumni” written on it. I glued in some of the very shells that had led me to make the box to remind me of how beautiful life could be.
I put a picture of myself as a child to remind myself of happy memories of my childhood innocence. I was obsessed with The X-Files and desperately wanted to know how it would all end, so I put a picture of that as well.
Most importantly I wrote in large purple letters:
I CHOOSE TO CONTINUE LIVING
I WILL GET THROUGH THIS
Then it was time to fill the box. Inside I placed a smiling drama mask to remind me of my love of theater and the creative arts since creativity had always sustained me during dark times and given me something to look forward to.
Next went the rug I wove myself while learning about Native Americans in elementary school. I had always hated looking at it when I was younger because I hadn’t done it perfectly like my best friend Jennifer. But over time I came to love it for it’s imperfections. In the box, it reminded me that imperfection could be beautiful too!
I put in a bracelet I made when I was 11. All the beads were pretty by themselves but together well… it reminds me that you can have too much of a good thing. But also to have fun and to have a sense of humor in all things.
Second to last I put in a rope I tediously made myself during Outdoor Education in 5th grade. I spent over an hour with my hands going numb in an icy cold river laboriously pounding all the moisture out of a reed before braiding it into a rope. It reminds me of the power of hard work. And the rope itself, which could hold my whole body weight, reminds me to always be strong.
Finally I included a letter that saved my life one day. I was home alone after school and feeling very suicidal. I was searching for a knife to cut myself with. Suddenly, I had a prompting to go check the mail before I got any further. I almost never received any mail, but on that very day the following letter was there for me.
I cried when I read the letter. It quite possibly saved my life that day. I stopped looking for a knife and starting trying to figure out who could have sent it. I didn’t think about hurting myself at all for the rest of that day. The letter reminds me that I am loved even when I don’t realize it or it doesn’t feel that way, and that God is there working miracles in my life.
I looked at my box of hope every day for about a year. It got me through a lot of very dark hours and days and months. Then there came a time when I could carry my box of hope around with me in my heart, and I didn’t need to look at it so often.
Now it mostly sits in my closet, but I always know it is there if I need it. But today I was talking with a friend who is going through a very dark time in her life, and I told her about it. I offered to send her photos of it, but, I thought, why not go a step farther and share it here? Perhaps there is someone else who needed a little box of hope today.
I first published this post on my Box of Hope in 2010 on my now mostly retired blog, NovelPatient which chronicled my life with multiple chronic illnesses. At the time, I was surprised by how positively the post was received. I have since realized that everyone needs a box of hope to draw on in times of trouble. For most people that box is figurative. But for me… my hope is now something I can pull out of the closest whenever I need it. I can wrap myself in my blanky and see, feel, smell and touch the contents of box, encircled in eternal hope.
Has anyone else made a box of hope or something similar? Please share and post about it in the comments!
Have you ever wondered what you should be doing with your life? Have you ever wondered what areas of your life you need to improve, and, furthermore how to improve them? Have you ever wanted to hear this kind of instruction from someone who could never steer you wrong? Have you ever wanted to get advice from someone who had only your best interested at heart, who loved you unconditionally, and would treat you with care of the most loving parent?
Throughout my life I have often longed for this personal direction from a divine source. I have come to know that my Father in Heaven can give me all of these things whenever I speak to him through prayer. But there are other times, places, and methods of receiving this direction in life. This afternoon was the final session of the Spring convening of General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. At it, the living Prophet of our Living Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ, along with his counselors, Apostles, and other disciples, delivered the divine messages we all needed to hear as His children.
General Conference occurs twice a year in the Spring and Fall. The messages spoken at it are broadcast live across the world via television, radio, and the internet for all of God’s children to hear. Afterwards, the talks are made available online, on dvd, and in print. Past year’s General Conferences are also available on lds.org.
In preparing to hear the word of God at General Conference, I wrote a list of questions that I wanted to have answered by the various talks given. I prayed to Heavenly Father that my questions would be addressed I was not disappointed. Through my faith, I received very direct answers to all but one question and an indirect answer to my last question. I would like to share some of my questions and the answers I received to them through the messages I watched broadcast through my computer screen. I recorded all of this in my handmade Conference Journal.
- How do I deal with my desire for a Temple marriage in this life without knowing if I will have one?
- I must emotionally, spiritually, and physically prepare myself for a temple marriage. This includes improving my physical health.
- How can I teach myself to more completely trust Christ and the Atonement when I have so much trouble trusting and relying on anyone other than myself?
- There are no shortcuts. The little things matter a lot as I build my foundation in Christ. I must share and talk to my Father in Heaven. I must start with what I’m sure of in my faith go from there to have an intimate discussion. As I ask for help learning to more fully rely on Christ, Heavenly Father with both bless and help me.
- When my faith waivers, how do I restore my faith? Furthermore, how to I maintain my surety in the first place?
- Fear not! Do not belittle my belief. Ask for help in my unbelief that it might be transformed into strong faith. What we do know will always be greater than what we don’t regarding our faith. Remember to always walk by faith.
- What can I do to contribute to an inviting atmosphere at church where everyone can feel the Spirit of Christ?
- Darkness exists in this world but don’t chose to dwell in the darkness. Choose to dwell in the light, and choose to radiate light!
- What should I learn about myself, others and Christ when I make mistakes and things don’t go according to plan? How can I improve myself in the face of conflict?
- It is imporant to always remember that I am a divine daughter of God and that I am a divine work in progress. Issues with arrise but that doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with a divine work. Also remember “it takes two people to contend and I will no be one of them.” (Brother Palabella)
- How do I give up my life for something better?
- This one is easy: Come follow Him.
- How can I learn to recognize miracles in my life everyday?
- Allow faith to overcome doubt. As I am obedient in all things, magnifying everything that I have been asked to do I will be blessed in ways I cannot imagine and will his is tender mercies and even His miracles in all things.
I invite you to come and see what answers the messages of General Conference have for you. You can watch the entire thing or just specific talks online. As Brother Jeffery R. Holland declared today, “Hope on! Journey on! Fan the flame of your faith because all things are possible to him that believeith!”
Come and see and follow Him!
When I was around seven years old, I went camping with my dad, and he took me fishing for the first time. I was a tiny thing, and so when I hooked my first fish, it was so strong it lifted me right off my feet and started to pull me right into the raging river. My dad grabbed me just in time. The fish got away, but I didn’t. Ever since I knew that that my dad would always be there to catch me from falling into the raging waters of life.
My dad and I are a lot alike. We are both philosophical and introspective. Since I was a little girl, we would have long meaningful discussions about life and my dreams. He always encouraged me in everything I did especially in my creative endeavors. Whether I was acting or drawing or writing or filming a movie, my dad was always my champion. He has never been much of a reader of fiction, so it has meant the world to me that he has read along as I’ve written the first draft of my novel.
He kissed booboos. He smushed spiders. He taught me to be handy around the house. He make amazing breakfast on Saturday mornings.
Over the last few years, my dad and I have gone through a rough time in our relationship. My health and my parents splitting up put a strain on our bond. Things were said. Trusts were broken. But my dad never gave up on having an amazing relationship with me. And I in turn have worked very hard to open my heart up to him again. I learned to accept him for the wonderful man that he is in my life and have given him space to be a contribution in my life which is what he wants more than anything. Lately we’ve both come a long way. We went out to dinner on Friday night, and our bond has never been stronger. Our communication has never been more open, heartfelt, and authentic. The only way I can describe how our relationship felt is with the words “grace” and “ease”.
I love my dad so very much! He has taught me so much about life and what it means to be a kind and decent human being. Happy Father’s Day!
When I look back on the most rewarding experiences of my life, they are almost all to do with serving others. Right now I’m working on a community service project called Scrapaganza. Scrapaganza is a scrapbooking event at the Ronald McDonald House in Los Angeles that celebrates the beauty of every life as a source of inspiration.
Ronald McDonald House provides housing for families who have seriously ill and injured children in the hospital. These parents and siblings are dealing with very difficult circumstances. Scrapaganza will be a source of joy during this stressful time in their lives.
The event will be open to all families currently staying at Ronald McDonald House. After an inspiring keynote, each family will create a beautiful scrapbook telling their personal story and celebrating joyous memories. Expert scrapbookers will be on hand to lend support and assistance.
Scrapaganza is currently seeking volunteers and donations. Find out how you can get involved!
Please help me spread the word by posting http://scrapaganza.org to your Facebook, Twitter, and etc! Thanks so much for your support!
I share a special relationship with my mom, but it hasn’t always been that way, and it hasn’t always been easy.
Growing up I didn’t feel I was loved unconditionally by either of my parents, but especially not by my mom. It’s strange looking back at how I felt because it is so clear to me now that my mom completely adored me and doted upon me. At the time though, I took her tendency to be critical to be a reflection on me when it was really just my mom’s struggle with anxiety showing itself.
My mom worked full time when I was very young, but she would come home from work and play with me for hours before I went to bed even though she must have been exhausted. She read to me endlessly. I attribute my love of reading and creative writing to all the hours I spent curled up in her lap as she read me picture books and eventually entire novels.
I consider myself so fortunate that she always was supportive of all my creative endeavors. She praised my writing, drove me to all my theater rehearsals, and supported my decision to go to Film School.
My mom created amazing childhood memories for me from the little things like the home cooked meals we always shared to the family vacations we took. We drove up the coast of California over two weeks, went to places like Mexico, New York, Hawaii, and Canada. Every trip was a success because of my mom’s gift for planning.
I admire her other gifts as well. She is an accomplished architect and an amazing crafter. She paints, knits, crochets, and sews. She painted me the most spectacular secretary desk. It is one of my most favorite treasures.
Most of all I admire my mom’s strength and perseverance. When my parent’s separated after over 25 years of marriage, she went back to work for the first time since my early childhood. She also took on caring for me, her chronically ill daughter, both physically and financially.
I cannot count the hours she’s spent being there for me through the hospitalizations and other aspects of my illness. It was rough on our relationship at first. I had been a fiercely independent person and had a difficult time accepting help from her graciously. She wasn’t used to giving up her freedom to be there for me constantly. But in the end it brought us closer together as we grew to really value each others company and spending time together in every context.
I am so blessed and grateful for my mom! I only hope that someday I can be as wonderful a mom to my children as she has been to me.