Posts tagged hearts
Since I was five years old, barely sophisticated enough to write a few words into sentences, I have been captivated by poetry. Poems just seemed to come to me as if I had plucked them right out of thin air and was merely the recorder of the words that would pour through me. It hasn’t been that way lately though. As my focus has moved on to my two novels, I haven’t tried to write a poem with any semblance of a rhyme scheme in quite some time. I’ve been feeling rather out of practice.
However, today was my church’s Ward Conference, a day of spiritual nourishment. It was just wonderful listening to my local leaders speak to us young adults on the topics that were of the greatest importance to us. Feeling more spiritually fed, and pondering some of the themes discussed today, I decided to try my hand at a poem. The following is the result:
The void left by burning desire;
At times nearly extinguished inside;
All but lost the inertia required;
To move and be moved to His side;
But then I close my eyes tight,
And pray with all my might;
All I am, was, and will be,
I am through Him, now I see;
And my covenant burns bright;
The unquenchable light inside;
My hope, my comfort, my insight;
To move and be moved to His side.
What do we do when our understanding of our circumstances eludes us and puts our faith in peril? How can we turn our doubt into a tool to grow closer to our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ? I recently discovered that it is from our most vulnerable place of complete doubt and uncertainty, that upmost faith and surety is the Gospel is available.
I received a blessing for a medical procedure that promised that i would be blessed that it would all go without complication. When that didn’t turn out to be the case, I couldn’t be help but question my own faith. Maybe I just didn’t have enough faith to receive that blessing. Not only was I suffering the physical effects of my unfortunate circumstances but I was filled with fear. Doubts swirled through my head. Maybe I couldn’t trust myself to have the faith required to receive the blessings I most desperately want and need. Maybe I let my own fear get in the way. Or maybe God didn’t want me to have that blessing for some reason.
I sought out comfort in prayer from my Heavenly Father asking why I had to be stuck in the hospital once again for a prolonged period when it was supposed to be a one day procedure. Though I didn’t get my answer right away I was comforted through the power of the Holy Spirit telling me that The Lord works in His own time and for His own reasons. There was a reason for even this even if it was not yet clear to me.
It didn’t start to become clear until about a week later. Still in the hospital another complication caused me an incident of severe and dangerous bleeding, that landed me back in the ICU. It was then that I realized that if I had been stuck in the hospital in the first place then, I wouldn’t have been in the safety of the hospital when I had started bleeding profusely and the outcome might have been much worse.
It is much the same spiritually. When we are in the safety of the Gospel in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, we can bleed out all the doubt and woes of our life until we are weak and can barely stand. Then Christ will be right there to support us. He has already bled the same blood and so much more for us. He has felt all the pain. He is the Great Physician who will cure us and make us whole and complete again, so that we may return again. Once we’ve hemorrhaged out all our doubts, we are ready to be so much more like Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ. Even blessings that seem to fall short in our lives are opportunities to grow in the Gospel is we but turn to Christ, take His hand, and open our hearts, continually seeking the Father, repenting of all our doubts and sins, and seeking the divine healing of The Lord!
It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks, to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal.
Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.
I set goals for myself every morning with my friend over Skype. We talk about the space we are in, clear the air, and set goals for what we want to accomplish for the day and the kind of people we want to be while we accomplish it. For example, I might set a goal to write for two hours on my novel, and I create a context of doing that in a playful and creative mood. But setting the goals is only one side of the coin. The followthrough is just as crucial as the goal setting. Why do I set goals? I set goals because it gives me direction. More than that it creates the idea of the future I can then live into. It’s a powerful thing. The President of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, told this anecdote:
Several days ago, while driving to my home, I approached the entrance to Interstate 15. At the on-ramp I noticed three hitchhikers, each one of whom carried a homemade sign which announced his desired destination. One sign read “Los Angeles,” while a second carried the designation “Boise.” However, it was the third sign which not only caught my attention but caused me to reflect and ponder its message. The hitchhiker had lettered not Los Angeles, California, nor Boise, Idaho, on the cardboard sign which he held aloft. Rather, his sign consisted of but one word and read simply “ANYWHERE.” Here was one who was content to travel in any direction, according to the whim of the driver who stopped to give him a free ride. What an enormous price to pay for such a ride. No plan. No objective. No goal. The road to anywhere is the road to nowhere, and the road to nowhere leads to dreams sacrificed, opportunities squandered, and a life unfulfilled.
Thomas S. Monson, Which Road Will You Travel?
But how do I turn goals from dreams into reality? I find that it’s all about accountability. And accountability starts with a good plan. I was recently introduced to the SMART Goal Method of goal setting. SMART stands for:
- Specific: What will I accomplish?
- Measurable: How will I and others know I’ve reached my goal?
- Attainable: Do I have the commitment and resources to realistically achieve this goal?
- Relevant: Why is this goal important to me?
- Time-Bound: When do I expect to complete this goal?
I’ve also found it really helps to think of the most powerfully positive outcome I can have around this goal. So I ask myself the following questions:
- If I were to have a breakthrough miracle in this area, what would my life look like?
- What are the benefits of achieving this goal?
It is great to make goals, but it’s vitally important to put a plan for that goal into action. So I make a list of tasks or to-dos that will help me achieve the goal with target completion dates.
It’s important to have a contingency plan for possible challenges I might encounter while achieving my goal, so I make a list of possible obstacles and ways to overcome them.
Finally, I find it infinitely helpful to have someone who helps me stay accountable in my goal making. That is why my morning goal making has been so life changing. Out of that I’ve completed multiple drafts of both my novels, increased my productivity at work, and found more time left over to do the other things I love to do. I also haven’t forgotten to be grateful for how precious this life is and enjoy the journey.
In order to facilitate my goal making, I’ve made a custom worksheet in PDF format. If you download the worksheet you’ll be able to fill it out on the computer (you’ll even be able to check the to-do items off your list), save and print it. It’s free to download. I only ask that you don’t sell it. Also please don’t republish it without attribution (a link back to this article). Finally, please let me know if you have any feedback or suggestions on how to improve upon it! Enjoy!
I’ve been told on several occasions lately that I’m glowing. I was in the LDS Temple when I heard it first. One of the more locally important leaders came up to me to tell me that his counselor told him that I was glowing and that he agrees with him. I promptly turned a bright shade of red which I’m sure covered up any glow as I thanked him. But when I got home, I looked in the mirror and to my surprise, sure enough, I was glowing. Nothing green or yellow or radioactive, but my eyes and skin were lit up and shining. Glowing is a term usually reserved for describing women who are in love or pregnant. As I fall in neither category, it’s led me to wonder at the source of my illuminating shine.
Today I realized what that source was. I was at church this morning when that same counselor came up to me directly to tell me how much he thought I was glowing for himself. He also mentioned that could see a change in me. That’s what gave me the clue. I believe he was referring to a “change of heart” or a “mighty change” of heart of the variety written about beginning in The Book of Mormon, Alma, Chapter 5, Verse 12-14 & 26 :
12 And according to his faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. Behold I say unto you that this is all true.
13 And behold, he preached the word unto your fathers, and a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold, they were faithful until the end; therefore they were saved.
14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?
26 And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?
While I was in the hospital for three months over this past summer, I really believe it wrought a mighty change in my heart. I learned to trust God like I never trusted before. Being on a ventilator, unable to breath on my own, while still being completely conscious, for such a long period during that time, was a humbling experience. It taught me to just keep giving me burdens over to my Savior. It also taught me how our short lives are such a gift to treasure every moment of.
When I got home, I began to recover in leaps and bounds, faster than I had ever recovered and from a way more intense hospitalization than ever before. I didn’t think much of it at first, but now I attribute it to the might change of heart I’m experienced. The peace, faith and connectedness I feel are all products of that change of heart that I experienced inside me. I felt the song of redeeming love so strongly then. Can I feel so now? I must answer a resounding, “yes!”
Which bring me back to the glow. I realize now that I’m not really glowing. Or rather when you look at me and see a glow, it’s not me that you are seeing. You are seeing the Light of Christ working through me. I have embraced Christ’s love and his love shines through me. His love makes me glow. So in a sense I am pregnant. I carry faith inside me and feed it and nurture it and grow it into its full divine potential. And I might not be romantically in love, but I strive to carry charity or “the pure love of Christ” with me everywhere I go. That is the glow you see. That is the light in my eyes. As it is written in The New Testament, Matthew, Chapter 5, Verse 16:
16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember how loved each of us are by our Father in Heaven. But we are each loved so profoundly that it is truly impossible for us to comprehend. The more we open our hearts to feeling this love, the closer to Him we become.
This morning I woke up with a nasty eye and very contagious eye infection. I opted to stay home from church rather than risk infecting everyone in my Ward.
So I spent the day reading through scripture while listening to awesome and free Especially For Youth music downloaded from lds.org. While reading through the Book of Mormon this afternoon, I came across this scripture:
But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.
We are each literally “encircled about eternally in the arms of His love.” I felt the Spirit of Christ burning inside me when I read this scripture. I knew how loved I am. I wanted to create some art with those words, so I created the following image in Illustrator to remind me of how I felt when I read it. Enjoy!
(Feel free to use the image as long as you attribute it to me with a link back to this post. Thanks!)