7 Year Baptism Anniversary

7 Year Baptism Anniversary

The most amazing thing though isn’t that I got baptized seven years ago, though that was truly a miraculous day I never would have predicted growing up a Jewish girl in an all Jewish family. My baptism was the spark of faith that would grow, over the next seven years, into an unquenchable flame in spite of and even because of the most challenging of circumstances. Despite all the harrowing health and other challenges my faith has grown, even flourished. That is the miracle of the gospel in my life. That challenges and even the most crushing of life’s hardships haven’t blown out that flame; they’ve been the life-giving oxygen by which my faith and testimony have turned from a flickering candle to a glowing lantern. With the elders before my baptism

6 Year Baptisversary

6 Year Baptisversary

Six years ago today I did the single best thing I’ll ever do for myself. Going in I was really nervous, but at the same time very sure of what I needed to do and what Heavenly Father needed me to do. The day was March 7th 2010. It was the day I was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

From the Depths of Pain I Found the Greatest Peace

From the Depths of Pain I Found the Greatest Peace

Sitting in my bed Sunday night, I could no longer hold back my sobs. Tears flowed from my eyes, more like a raging river than a stream. My whole body shook. The emoptional pain was a ocean so deep, I thought I might drown.
Sometimes it can seem easier to numb ourselves than allow ourselves to feel the depth of our own sorrows. We live in a world that offers us an endless array of ways to detach from our own human experience much of which is negative. Easy fixes.

5 Ways To Gain More Knowledge & Blessings From The Hardest Trials

5 Ways To Gain More Knowledge & Blessings From The Hardest Trials

If I could whitewash all the years spent facing the pain, lonliness, isolation, boredom, fear, anger,  grief, and saddness that comes with a chronic illness that requires very frequent and prolonged hosptializations, wouldn’t I want to? But then I remember what I am here on earth to do.  I remember that my adversity and trials aren’t punishments; they’re gifts that allow me to improve myself, transform my weaknesses, and grow into the person I was always meant to become.  I remember that adveristy is a blessed opportunity – even an invitation – from my loving Father in Heaven, to become more like my Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ.  I remember that if I were able to whitewash my life and forget all my trials, I’d also forget all the knowledge and blessings that come from them.

Reopening My Box of Hope

Reopening My Box of Hope

Wouldn’t it be amazing if, during our darkest hour, we could reach under our bed and open up a box of hope? A “box of hope” could be a figurative thing that we reach inside ourselves or out to God to find. But sometimes you need something more. Sometimes you need a literal box of hope. And that is just what I created for myself during my darkest hour.

Home, Safe & Sound

Home, Safe & Sound

Today I made it home from the hospital.  I was there three weeks with one week in the ICU.  It’s amazing what a chain reaction an allergic reaction to latex can set off.  Due to a series of mixups it took an extra 5 and a half hours to get out of the hospital...
Noise

Noise

Life is a noisy place.  It often feels imposible to escape the noise of life. The traffic, the talking, the hum of electronic devices, cell phone rings, music blaring,  Aside from the noise pollution, there’s even light pollution   So many places there is so...
Breathless

Breathless

Sometimes, despite my best intentions, strongest convictions, all my strength and will, all my hope and faith, commitment and passion… sometimes despite everything I am, was, and will ever be… sometimes things fall apart. Sometimes it seems like...
Tears of Today

Tears of Today

Driving home from the neurologist’s this afternoon, I was overwhelmed by how much I’ve endured this past year and how much I’ve overcome.  No words that I could speak nor tears that I could shed could express the depth of my sorrow at that moment or...
Change of Heart

Change of Heart

I’ve been told on several occasions lately that I’m glowing.  I was in the LDS Temple when I heard it first.  One of the more locally important leaders came up to me to tell me that his counselor told him that I was glowing and that he agrees with him.  I...
Planning For Happiness

Planning For Happiness

This year my greatest birthday wish came months before my birthday.  It was to be out of the hospital to celebrate my special day.  This week, on Tuesday, is my birthday.  I will be turning 29 and entering the last year of my twenties.  After 11 long, hard, and often...
Silent Gratitude

Silent Gratitude

Gratitude. As strange as it might seem, that is the one prevailing emotion of the past six weeks. Why gratitude?  I’ve been in the hospital.  I’ve been sick.  Really sick. Several weeks on life support when I was too weak to breathe on my own.  So though...
Fading Scars

Fading Scars

Conventional wisdom tells us that scars fade over time.  But they don’t always fade on their own.  Whether physical or emotional, diminishing scars is a process that takes work. A few months ago I had surgery to have a two benign Lipoma tumors removed from my...