Crafting A Particularly Perfect Excerpt
Writing a novel from start to finish is an extremely challenging feat, but I discovered that creating the novel itself is a synch compared to crafting an engaging and well-written pitch. How could I distill over 100k words into just under 250 words while still maintaining the essence of the plot, characters, and style of the book?
It is no easy task. I struggled and wrestled my way through over fifteen drafts each seemingly worse than the last. False starts and failed endings. It took me a long time to get to what I finally settled upon, but I’m not convinced it’s ready.
I need your help! Please read my pitch, and lend me your constuctive critique. What’s working? What isn’t working? Does it pull you in? Do you relate to the characters? Does it make you want to read the book? What can I do to make it stronger?
The Particulars Pitch
by Lauren Soffer
Please excuse Professor Veril Maloit as he passes out cold. He’s just standing up to accept the biggest honor of his writing career only to fall flat on his face. To Veril’s astonishment, his girlfriend, Samantha Elderhopper, is selected to become an apprentice to the elite group of writers known as The Particulars, and his lifelong dream of joining the enigmatic organization is in shambles.
While recovering, Veril overhears a conversation between the group’s Grand Master, Cameron Johanson, and another Particular about making unsuspecting people disappear.
Is something sinister afoot? Tracy, the opinionated incorporeal voice that’s following Veril around certainly thinks so. Chances are he’s finally going out of his mind, but as Veril investigates, he stumbles upon a Particular conspiracy, witnessing the society’s crimes for himself. The famous authors are secretly vampires sucking juicy details out of people to infuse their writing with vivid realism, erasing their victims from memory to all but Veril.
Terrified, he dreads forever losing Sam to the humanity devouring Particulars, but what can Veril do? He knows nothing about hunting vampires. Or so he thinks, until the delivery of a cryptic letter illuminates the murky details of his mysterious lineage. Armed with a magic pen and inkwell, his creative writing skills, and a grab bag team of would-be heroes, Veril discovers that he’s the inspired author of his own destiny.
Thanks so much for your time and help! It’s much appreciated. You can leave your feed back right here in the comments, or you can email me at email@example.com.
Cross-posted from The Particulars Blog.
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